Gambit And The Terrible, Awful, Very Bad Date
by Red Witch
Summary: Gambit learns the hard way that it is not good karma to steal other people's dates.


**The disclaimer telling all of you that I don't own any X-Men Evolution characters is out somewhere. I did make up Samantha. She's from Mutant Girls Gone Wild. If you read the fic you can guess what's coming. **

**Gambit And The Terrible Awful Very Bad Date**

It all started when Gambit was walking around Bayville, trying to figure out what to do next. For old times sake he decided to spy on the Brotherhood. "At the very least they might give me a laugh."

When he got there he skillfully entered the Boarding House but there was no one home. "I swear this place becomes worse every time I visit," He grumbled as he saw several garden gnomes in the kitchen. "Gambit do not even wish to **know** what that is about."

Just then the doorbell rang. He shrugged and brazenly decided to answer it. "Hello?" He opened the door.

"Hi! Are you Pyro?" A very pretty well built blonde twittered. She was wearing a blue top with a floral pattern miniskirt and a lot of jewelry. "I'm Samantha. A friend of mine e-mailed you about maybe going out sometime?"

"I believe Pyro is out of town at the moment," Gambit smirked. "But I am here. Would mademoiselle like to get a bite to eat for lunch?"

"Why not? One guy is as good as another right?" Samantha giggled. "And I love French!"

"I'm Remy. Remy LeBeau," Gambit kissed her hand. Samantha let out a high pitch squeal that nearly shattered his eardrums.

"Ooh! So sexy! Shall we?" Samantha pointed to the car. A silver Porche with the top down.

"After you," Gambit attempted to open the door so that he could let her slide into the passenger seat only to have her hand clamp on his tightly.

_"NOBODY DRIVES BABY BUT ME!"_ Samantha hissed, her voice sounded odd. Then she changed back to normal. "I mean, I'll drive."

"Okay," Gambit blinked. She was a bit possessive about her car but then again some people were. He slid into the passenger seat. "You drive. Remy is in your hands."

"Fasten your seatbelts," Samantha said cheerfully. "I mean it. Fasten them."

"Uh…" Gambit blinked.

_"FASTEN THEM NOW!"_ Samantha screeched. Gambit wisely fastened his seatbelt. "Okie dokie here we go!"

SCREEEEEEEEEECCCCCCCCCCCCCHHHHH!

"I love driving with the wind in my hair!" Samantha laughed manically. "GET OUT OF MY WAY ROADHOG!"

VRROOOOOOM!

"Going kind of fast aren't you?" Gambit held on for dear life.

"That's why I told you to put your seatbelt on silly," Samantha giggled. "Safety first! Oh we missed a turn. No problem!"

SCREEECHHHHHHHH!

"Why are we going **backwards?**" Gambit screamed.

"I know a shortcut through the park," Samantha said. "I think it's a shortcut. Oh well, one way to find out!"

"WATCH OUT FOR THAT TREE!" Gambit screamed as Samantha tore through the park on the grass, scattering the odd pedestrian.

"Calm down! We missed it by a mile!" Samantha said. "Hey I bet we can jump that small stream over there!"

VRROOOOOOOOOOM!

SPLASH! CLUNK!

"Okay so we couldn't cover it **completely**," Samantha waved. "Watch me do some cool donuts on the highway!"

"This might not have been one of Gambit's **smarter** ideas…" Gambit muttered to himself as his stomach lurched.

Then minutes later Gambit was grateful that they stopped in front of a small French restaurant. "That was a fun ride," He let out a sigh of relief.

CLUNK! CLATTER!

"Uh your hubcaps and muffler just fell off," Gambit blinked.

"Oh don't worry about it," Samantha waved. "It wasn't really mine anyway."

"Whose was it?" Gambit blinked.

"I'm not really sure. Oh well it got us here," Samantha grabbed his arm and nearly dragged him inside.

Soon they were sitting at a table. "Everything here looks so good! You're paying right?" Samantha asked. "Of course if that's going to be a problem I can take care of it."

"Oh no! I insist on paying," Gambit said. "It's no problem. You don't need to use your money."

"Oh I don't have any money! But it's nice to know I don't have to eat and run!" Samantha beamed. "HEY WAITER! BRING A WINE LIST PRONTO!"

"I don't think wine this early is such a good idea," Gambit was quickly doubting that stealing Pyro's date was good idea either.

"Oh come on! Lighten up! I thought you Frenchmen liked a little wine!" Samantha asked.

"I'm Cajun. And even we know our limits, most of the time," Gambit sighed. "So uh, Samantha. Tell me about yourself?"

"Well I'm an Ares and love men that are dangerous!" Samantha purred. "Like my last boyfriend. He was a stuntman and took me for wild crazy rides! Until of course he cheated on me with some big boobed and little brained bimbo. Now the only thing he rides are **wheelchairs!** Ha ha!"

"I see…" Gambit inwardly gulped. "Well, Remy does like a little danger."

"Remy? Oh wait that's your name? I forgot," Samantha said. "So why don't you tell me about yourself. While we wait for our food which no one has even bothered to order! WOULD IT KILL YOU PEOPLE TO PUT OUT SOME BREADSTICKS HERE? COME ON!"

"May I…Help you?" The waiter walked up to them with a sour expression on his face.

"Yes uh…" Gambit began.

"Just give us one of everything on this menu," Samantha pointed to the waiter.

"Mademoiselle that is the **wine list**," The waiter said.

"I know. What's your point?" Samantha asked. "And throw in a couple of appetizers too. You got any of those fried onion blossoms with the special sauce? Those are great!"

"Uh no wine, just bring us any appetizer on the menu," Gambit said. The waiter gave him a distasteful look and walked away.

"Yeah and light a fire on those breadsticks!" Samantha yelled. "Sheesh! What bug crawled up his butt and died?"

"I think it might be me," Gambit admitted, realizing that his black on red eyes were visible. "Perhaps I should have worn my contacts."

"Oh you look fine! I have no problems with mutants!" Samantha managed to grab a glass of wine from a nearby table as well as another couple's table. "If it wasn't for freaks I wouldn't have any social life whatsoever."

She then snapped at the couple she stole the rolls from. "What are you people looking at? You weren't going to eat any rolls! The way she looks she hasn't eaten anything since 1989!"

"Uh Samantha are you from around here?" Gambit tried to get her to talk instead of drink. He had tried to use his empathic charm skills on her but found himself blocked.

"Let's just say I'm on a three day pass," Samantha said as she deftly swiped another glass of wine from a passing waiter and downed it down. "Oh man! That's the good stuff! You're not on anything are you? Because I might need to get a clean urine sample from you."

"Do you have any hobbies?" Gambit felt the evening was rapidly going downhill.

"Yeah they mostly involve drinking and knives," Samantha said. "Wanna see how good I am? See that picture over there?"

"Hold on!" Before Gambit could stop her she grabbed a knife off the table and threw it. It imbedded itself in a picture above another couple's table. The woman at the table shrieked and accidentally threw her wine at her date.

"WONDER WOMAN!" Samantha laughed. "Oh wait. I was trying for that other picture! Oh well, as long as I hit something! ANYBODY GOT MORE WINE?"

"This is not one of Gambit's better dates…" Gambit tried to hide his face.

THUNK!

"Oh stop crying! I didn't miss by **that **much!" Samantha yelled at another customer. "I only hit your handbag not you!" She grabbed another glass of wine from another customer.

The manager stormed up with two waiters. "I must ask you…people to leave this restaurant! We do not tolerate this type of behavior from normal guests! Much less **freaks!"**

"Who are **you** calling a freak you sissy?" Samantha stood up and grabbed him by the tie. "Huh? You want a piece of me?"

"Maybe we should go?" Remy got up.

"Oh we'll go all right! We'll go after we teach these jerks a lesson they'll never forget!" Samantha shoved the head waiter hard. So hard he collided with the other two waiters and they crashed into a table scattering food all over the place.

"Sorry about this! She's on medication!" Gambit apologized to a few shocked customers. "At least I hope she's on some kind of medication!"

Gambit turned around and to his horror Samantha had set fire to a few potted plants with a lighter. "BURN! BABY BURN!" She cackled.

"Now that Gambit thinks about it, maybe Pyro **is** a better match for you!" Gambit moaned. "Perhaps we should do this another time?"

"What? You're trying to **dump** me? I'm not _good_ enough for you?" Samantha whirled on him with a demented look in her eyes. She grabbed a steak knife from a table.

"No, no, no! I'm just saying…" Gambit tried to back away.

"Do you want to stay on this date with me or **not?**" Samantha screamed. Before Remy could answer she did a swift kick to another waiter that tried to restrain her. "I'M TALKING HERE!"

Gambit realized he had two choices. He could rely on his charm and skill to diffuse the situation and calm her down. Or he could run like hell as far away from this woman as he could get.

"HA! TAKE THAT YOU STUCK UP LOSERS!" Samantha swiftly dispatched another waiter with a roundhouse kick.

Gambit's gut instinct told him what to do and he did it.

"COME BACK HERE YOU COWARD!" Samantha screamed as she saw Gambit run for dear life. "YOU PICK ME UP FOR A DATE THAT MEANS YOU'RE STUCK WITH ME!"

"And I thought Belladonna was the most insane woman I ever met," Gambit moaned to himself. "YEOW!"

"HA HA! RIGHT IN THE BUTT!" Samantha cackled as she chased after him throwing more knives she grabbed off of tables. "YOU CAN RUN BUT YOU CAN'T HIDE!"

Not long after in the Bayville Park. "I can't believe we're actually doing a stupid scavenger hunt!" Rogue muttered to herself. "Team building exercise my butt! Logan just wants some alone time in a bar for the afternoon!"

"Rogue is that you?" Gambit peeked out of the bushes.

"What the heck are you doing trying to scare me Swamp Rat?" Rogue snapped. "If you're stalking me again…"

"No, no, no! You gotta help Gambit!" Gambit pleaded. "It's a matter of life and death! Mine!"

"What did you do **now?**" Rogue folded her arms.

"Please Chere! You have to save Gambit! He's running for his **life!**" Remy pleaded.

"From who?" Rogue asked. "Magneto? Sabertooth? Mystique?"

"Worse…" Remy groaned.

"COME OUT COME OUT WHEREVER YOU ARE!" Samantha's shout could be heard not far from them. "COME ON OUT LOVER BOY! AND THEN WE'RE GONNA HAVE SOME **REAL** FUN! HA HA HA HA HA!"

"Wait I **know** that insane laugh," Rogue realized. "That sounds like Tabitha's friend Samantha."

"That lunatic is a **friend** of Boom Boom's?" Gambit panted. "**That** explains a lot."

"WHEN I FIND YOU I AM GOING TO TEAR YOU TO PIECES! YOU HEAR ME? NOBODY DUMPS ME! NOBODY!" Samantha screamed.

"Let me guess what happened," Rogue gave Gambit a look. "You picked her up before she met Pyro and went on a date with her? Am I right?"

"WHAT KIND OF WUSS DOESN'T APPRECIATE A GIRL WHO CAN SET A GOOD FIRE? WHAT?" Samantha screeched.

"Uh maybe?" Gambit gulped. "Rogue! Please! I'm begging you! Help me!"

"Well when you put it like that…" Rogue sighed.

"Gambit knew he could count on you," Remy smiled.

"SAMANTHA! HE'S RIGHT OVER **HERE!"** Rogue shouted in a very loud voice. "HIDING FROM YOU IN THE BUSHES!"

"SSHHHH!" Gambit tried to shush her.

"HE'S PEEPING ON UNDERAGE GIRLS AGAIN!" Rogue went on. "COME AND GET HIM!"

"Gambit can count on **you** all right," Gambit glared at Rogue. "Count on you to sell me OWWWWWW!" Gambit leapt out of the bushes only to be tackled by Samantha with the grace of a linebacker.

"Consider this payback for the time you kidnapped me, Sugar," Rogue smiled as Samantha beat the stuffing out of Gambit.

"Oh hi Rogue," Samantha stopped a moment. "How are you doing?"

"Not bad," Rogue said. "You missed Pyro huh?"

"Yeah and I ran into **this **jerk!" Samantha twisted Gambit's arm. "Friend of yours?"

"Sort of." Rogue said. "But feel free to kick the crap out of him anyway."

"ROGUE! PLEASE! OWWW! MY EAR!" Gambit screamed as Samantha twisted it.

"Rogue what's going on?" Scott ran up to her and saw the sight. "Is that Gambit?"

"Yeah and the girl who's kicking his butt is Samantha," Rogue said. "Friend of Tabitha's."

"OWW! OWW! SERIOUSLY GIRL DO NOT FORCE GAMBIT TO USE HIS POWERS! OWWWWW! DON'T HIT ME **THERE!"**

"And she's doing that to him, **why?**" Scott winced.

"Because he's Gambit," Rogue gave him a look. "Do I really have to say more?"

"OW! STOP BITING ME! OW!"

"No, you don't," Scott shook his head. "Stupid question really."

"YOU THINK YOU CAN USE A GIRL LIKE KLENEX? I'LL WIPE THAT SMIRK OFF YOUR FACE MISTER! HA HA HA HA!"

"OWWWWWWW!"

"I guess you want me to help you stop her huh?" Rogue sighed.

"Who said anything about **stopping** her?" Scott asked. "I just want to watch."

"Like **she's** actually going to hurt him," Rogue said.

WHAM!

"YEOWWWWWW!"

"Okay maybe she **can **hurt him," Rogue shrugged. "But only a little."

"OH GOD NO! MY RIBCAGE! AAAAAAAAAHHHH! MY LEG! YOU BROKE MY LEG!"

"Okay a **lot,**" Rogue said casually. "But you can't deny he don't deserve it."

"Play around and you get burned," Scott agreed.

"AAAAH! GET THAT LIGHTER AWAY FROM GAMBIT!"

"Literally," Scott remarked.

"What is going on?" Kurt teleported up to them. He was wearing his image inducer so his human appearance was seen.

"Gambit's getting his butt kicked by a girl," Rogue said.

"Oooh! Awesome!" Kurt grinned. He pulled out a small phone. "Good thing this cell phone has video!"

"OW! NO! NOT THE FACE! NOT THE FACE! OWW! OKAY! YOU CAN HIT THE FACE!" Gambit screamed for mercy.

"The quality of the picture is **amazing **on that thing," Scott marveled at the camera.

"Isn't it?" Kurt smiled. "Remind me to send Toad a copy of this."

"OWWW!"

"Whoa what a kick," Scott winced. "What powers does she have?"

"She's not a mutant," Rogue told him. "She's just nuts."

"MOMMY!"

"Oh this is just **perfect**," Scott laughed. "You know sometimes if you're really good, the universe just gives you a freebie. Thanks!" He made a thumbs up to the sky.

"SCOTT WHAT'S GOING ON?" Jean ran over with Kitty and Bobby.

"Fun's over," Scott sighed. "It was good while it lasted."

"Samantha?" Jean groaned. "Oh no!"

"Oh goody, Tabitha's psycho friend is in town," Kitty groaned.

"Oh that has got to hurt!" Bobby winced as Samantha did something else.

"IT DOES!" Gambit screamed. "PLEASE ROGUE! PLEASE! GAMBIT DO ANYTHING! ANYTHING!"

"Oh all right," Rogue sighed. "Samantha let him go. I think he's learned his lesson."

"What a wuss," Samantha stood up and brushed her hands. "And to think I thought he was cute!" The sound of sirens startled her. "Uh oh. Uh I gotta go now. Give my best to Boom Boom!"

"Okay, okay!" Rogue waved as Samantha ran off. "Well I don't know about all of you but I had a good time today."

"Guys, I think he's really hurt?" Kitty winced at Gambit's condition.

"That one leg is kind of bent funny," Bobby remarked. "Is he even breathing?"

"Poke him in the eye to make sure," Scott said cheerfully. Jean glared at him. "What?"

"Come on we'd better drag his sorry butt back home so Beast can patch him up," Rogue rolled her eyes.

"Sure we can't poke him in the eye first? OW!" Scott yelped as Jean smacked him on the back of the head.

* * *

"In addition to Gambit's broken leg there are two bruised ribs, some minor internal bleeding, trauma to his left wrist which needs to be in a cast for a few days, several cuts, small burns and bruises as well as a few bite marks which look infected," Hank said. "And a knife cut on your posterior that's not as deep as I expected."

They were in the infirmary where Xavier, Logan, Rogue and Scott were staring at a bruised and beaten Gambit who was heavily bandaged. Gambit's right leg was in a cast.

"I can't believe you two just stood there and let him get beaten up," Xavier looked at Scott and Rogue.

"Yeah I was sure the two of you would join in," Logan quipped. "And where were Flame Head and the rest of the Brotherhood during all of this?"

"Apparently there was some kind of fire sale downtown and Pyro misunderstood the meaning and well you know how these things happen," Rogue sighed. "It took all of them just to keep Pyro from taking the fire sale literally."

"I know this is going to sound like an extremely stupid question, Gumbo," Logan groaned. "But why didn't you just use your powers on her?"

"Gambit no like to take advantage of a normal human girl in a fight," Gambit winced. "Ow…Besides…Girl is a better fighter than I thought. Oh lordy, Gambit knows **assassins **that don't hit as hard as that!"

"Well I only met her once but from what I saw, Samantha may be a lot of things, but unfortunately for you, normal is **not** one of them," Rogue grinned.

"So how long he gonna be stuck here?" Logan pointed to Gambit. "And when is his sorry butt going to be well enough for me to kick out the door?"

"Uh, he should be up and about within a few months but uh…" Hank looked nervous. "Oh look! I hear my pop tarts are ready!" He ran out.

"Charles…" Logan looked at him. "Please tell me you did not do what I **think **you did when you were alone with him earlier!"

"I have spoken with Mr. LeBeau and I feel that the Institute can help him with his skills and in turn he can greatly help the X-Men," Xavier said. "Therefore I have offered him a place here and he has accepted."

"Looks like I'm here to stay," Gambit grinned.

"I knew it!" Rogue groaned. "I **knew** I was cursed!"

"You can't be **serious?**" Scott was stunned. "Professor…!"

"I know Mr. LeBeau has a checkered past as a thief and an Acolyte but I feel he could be valuable to X-Men," Xavier held up his hand.

"And a kidnapper. You did remember he's a _kidnapper_ right?" Scott asked.

"Believe me, it's hard to forget," Rogue rolled her eyes. "Look Scott I ain't exactly thrilled about him being here either. But at least he ain't with Magneto no more and if he stays here once he recovers he can help out a little. You know Kitty needs all the help she can get."

"What?" Scott sputtered.

"Come on Scott, I know how you like teaching her and the rest of the New Recruits how to drive and stuff but let's face it you're not that good," Rogue said. "At least I hope he can drive. **Can** you?"

"Just put me behind the wheel," Gambit flashed his most charming smile. "Gambit show you what a good teacher he is."

Scott realized exactly what Rogue was getting at. He put on his best poker face. "I am not that bad a driver. And don't even think about him taking over any cooking lessons! What does a thief like him know about cooking anyway?"

"Better than you," Logan caught on. "Chuck's right we should give the guy a chance. So once he's better he can do some drivers Ed and cooking lessons. Not to mention any tutoring sessions with the other New Mutants."

_You three do realize that I know __**exactly**__ what you are planning to do to him once he has recovered? _Xavier raised an eyebrow as he spoke telepathically to his three X-Men.

_You gonna tell him the truth? _Rogue challenged mentally. _**You**__ want to give Kitty more __**driving lessons?**_

_On the other hand there's no harm testing Mr. LeBeau's mettle,_ Xavier realized. "Gambit you do realize that you will be expected to perform certain duties once you have recovered if you wish to stay with us?"

"I understand," Remy smirked. "Gambit is a very good teacher. Throw anything you got at me. I can handle it."

"Oh goody, a challenge," Logan smirked. "This might be fun after all." He and Scott shared a smirk before leaving.

Xavier sighed and shook his head as he wheeled out. "Well that went better than I expected. Welcome to the Xavier Institute Gambit. Good luck. You're going to need it."

"Looks like you'll be seeing a lot of Gambit Cherie," Gambit winked at Rogue. "Maybe later you give me a sponge bath no?"

"No! If I didn't know better I'd say you decided to let Samantha beat your sorry behind up so that you'd have an excuse to sneak into the Institute and annoy me!" Rogue snapped as she walked out. "But even **you** ain't that dumb."

"This work out better than Gambit thought," Gambit smiled to himself. Then a wave of agony hit him. "Ooohh. Maybe the plan work a little _too_ well?"


End file.
